What comes to mind when you look at the word ‘behave’?

Having asked this same question of countless people across the world, most will tend to launch into negative memories or meanings they associate with it.

But see ‘behave’ with fresh eyes and two words may jump out: ‘be’ and ‘have’.

So, what might that mean? First it says be, then it says have. One way I like to break it down is to say, ‘as you be, so you have.’

Think about it. The joyful person has the experience of joy. The grumpy person has the grumps.

But it goes further. Not only do they have the feeling that comes along with that space but they will also have this mirrored back to them over time in their relationships, opportunities and so on.

In other words, the experience you have of life is largely determined by who you are being both in any given moment as well as over time. Another way of expressing this is, ‘your mind creates your experience.’

When working with the mind there are two vital things to be aware of:

  1. What we are focusing on.
  2. How we are looking at what we’re focusing on.

Essentially both what we focus on and how we focus are determined by whether we are operating from love or fear, connection or separation.

To bring yourself to a loving orientation you can begin by looking for the things we are grateful for in this moment and, more broadly, in life.

Practicing gratitude is a powerful first step in placing your focus on things that inspire joy, peace and contentment. Practicing gratitude is a loving action and, as BeHave suggests, naturally gives rise to the experience of love.

More broadly, the lens through which you view your self, others and situations literally creates the way you experience life. Choose your lends wisely. This is the essence of BeHave.

Your mind creates your experience.


While enduring years of hardship within Nazi concentration camps, the pioneering psychologist, Viktor Frankl, came to this revelation:

Everything can be taken from a (hu)man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.

In other words, we can choose how we interpret and meet life – no matter the situation. Going further, our interpretation creates our meaning which in turn determines our experience of life.

If we call our meanings our stories, it is our ability to tell ourselves effective stories that gives us the greatest foundation for ongoing happiness and wellbeing.

With this in mind, take a moment and contemplate the following:

  • What stories do I tell myself that are helpful to my wellbeing?
  • What stories do I tell myself that cause unnecessary suffering?

By owning our stories we can pull the curtains aside and see life anew.

If you want to feel the practical power of being a conscious storyteller, look at a challening situation in your life through the lens of fear followed by the lens of love.

Begin by owning your concerns. Complain freely. Experience what it is like to look through the lens of discontent and worry. What have you been thinking? What is wrong? How should it be?

Now stop, breathe, relax, let your mind become aware of the magic of this moment. Allow the grip of the situation to fade as you become present to the symphony what you are seeing, the sounds you are hearing, the sensations of your body and breath, the wholeness of this moment. Coming back to the situation, it does not define your overall experience of life. At any moment you can reorient, expand your awareness, return to a space of presence. freedom and possibility.

Maintaining an expansive awareness, bring your attention back to the same situation. See what comes to mind as you ask the following. What would love do? What is this situation asking of me? What can I learn here?

Same situation, different questions. Same situation, different perspectives. Same situation, and completely different experiences are available.

Life reflects who we are being. Meaning is determined by how we are seeing.

By owning our stories we can pull the curtains aside and see life anew.


Effective meaning-making is only part of the mind mastery story. Another key element is fully inhabiting the space we are operating from – our awareness, our body, our breath.

For many of us, we get caught up in relating to life as human doings. It is all too easy for our lives to be guided by the following cultural meme:

‘If I do certain things I will have what I want and then I will be happy.’

But if we go about things from a polluted space, our achievements may come at a tremendous cost. Ironically, when we go about things in a ‘wrong-teous’ way we may get all the things we thought we wanted but not the things we really wanted: peace and happiness.

It is possible for us to be more effective and have greater happiness at each step of the journey if we put our focus on the space we’re operating from: who we are being.

"There is no path to peace. Peace is the path."

— Mahatma Gandhi

One of history’s most effective leaders and activists, Mahatma Gandhi, pointed to the importance of our underlying space when he wrote, “There is no path to peace. Peace is the path.” And he was instrumental in achieving the liberation of hundreds of millions of people from the colonial yoke.

If you want to have amazing results and ongoing happiness, bring your focus to the qualities of being you want to nurture.

Qualities of being can be more easily understood as principles, values and feelings. Some key tools for attuning ourselves with these qualities of being are reflection, meditation, affirmation and principle based action. Most important of all is vigilant, light-hearted mindfulness as we move through our lives.

With ongoing wakefulness and reflection we can become attuned to our principles, reduce wasted energy and experience the natural upwelling of joy that is our birthright. It also becomes easy to turn our insight into action, choices become simple and we experience a greater sense of ease as our thoughts, speech and deeds work as one.

So, who and what do you choose to BeHave?